0-6: A Tactical Masterclass in Surrender.
The board (the WhatsApp group) has met following Sunday's 6-0 obliteration. While most teams aim for a "clean sheet," the Gaffa decided to trial a "transparent defense" policy that saw the opposition score more often than our strikers touched the ball.
Rumours that the Gaffa’s pre-match tactical briefing consisted of "just run about a bit" and "don't let them score" have been confirmed. When asked for comment on the six goals conceded, the Manager blamed the gravitational pull of the Ely Cathedral and the fact that his favorite tracksuit was in the wash.
Club Statement: "We have absolutely no confidence in the Gaffa's ability to drive the team home. His ability to manage a football team, however, has never been questioned. (Until now...)"